Today, I became reaquainted with two friends from my childhood days. Now, before you share in my joy please know that I experienced no such thing from my time spent with these two. You see, they were not old classmates with whom I played freeze tag or even friends that I traded stickers with. No, they were, in fact, that menace known as the fire ant and his annoying relative the chigger.
I realize that some of you who reside north of the Mason Dixon Line are not cursed by the fire ant and for that you should sing praises to God. Because there are few insects in this world that can inflict pain the way those little buggers can. About the only way to avoid red bumps all over your legs is to revert back to what we called growing up, "the doobie dance". This is merely you, after being attacked by said fire ants, stomping your legs up and down furiously, appearing to be calling rain down from the heavens, and praying that they fall off your legs as you pound them into the ground.
The second pest that came to revisit me was the infamous chigger. Now let me just preface this by saying that I wish chigger bites on no man. They have got to be the itchiest things ever. I only found out yesterday from my mom that the reason they itch so badly is because those stupid things are alive while they dig into your skin. That fact, in and of itself, is enough to make you hate them and the painful bites they leave. And it's not like a mosquito bite either. Mosquitoes go for arms and legs and any other piece of flesh exposed. The sneaky little chigger opts to travel to the places that can't be itched in public.
I realize this may seem like nothing much to some, but those of you who have this opinion have obviously never been visited by childhood friends.
